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NiteLife Productions
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winelovr
Would you be willing to chat with Dawn on her private photo. This is something new, for Dawn, but she is a real life Swinger and possibly has partied with you at Club NiteLife in San Jose. Drop her a note here. Her email is at the bottom of the page.
http://www.nypost.com/p/entertainment/tv/naked_truth_about_swingers_jjOcQFlsiqO1TwBSARfQoJ?utm_medium=rss&utm_content=TV
ast week, a swingers’ club in New York City got in touch with me —no, not to invite me to join, but to get an advance peek at footage they took of Lisa Ling taping one of their parties.
No, Ling wasn’t trying out the “lifestyle,” as swingers call their unconventional ideas of marriage and monogamy. What the swingers’ party planners were offering was never-before-seen-footage of one of their parties, which take place in lofts and fancy spaces around this city with mostly good-looking, high-end swingers.
After viewing the raw footage, I decided I’d rather speak to Ling about the whole thing instead. Turns out that party run by BCD (Behind Closed Doors) wasn’t even included in the episode of “Our America With Lisa Ling,” which airs Aug. 21 titled, “Swingers Next Door.”
Why? Because Ling says these paid-for parties are not typical of the vast majority of swingers in this country — emphasis on “vast.”
Yes, there are an estimated 15 million swingers of all shapes, sizes, races, ages and physical conditions swinging even as we speak.
Ling told me the “typical” swinging couple are regular people who can be doctors, electricians, house cleaners, lawyers and you name it.
The episode features three couples, the most bizarre being Roxy and Jeff, a wealthy couple in Arizona who have recently retired. He was an enormously successful doctor and she a nurse. They have three grown kids, have been married for 29 years and just started swinging when they moved to Arizona.
Not only aren’t they ashamed of revealing themselves, they revel in it. For a party they are throwing, Roxy dresses up in a see-through, elastic-strap, mini, elastic dress with hooker heels and Jeff turns into Howdy Doody, all done up in a rhinestone-studded cowboy shirt.
You’d think they’d be concerned that their children may have to throw themselves in front of moving vehicles to overcome the shame, but no.
In fact, they tell Ling that when they told their kids, they only said, “What took you so long?” Presumably the children meant why did it take them so long to ’fess up rather than why did it take them so long to start swinging.
The doc and his wife take Lisa along to the naughty sex shop where she buys a giant chrome dildo and some sort of fetish something or other while he checks out the rubber-spiked condoms. Hello! These are retired people!
How did Ling feel being an observer to the absurd? “I’ve covered war zones in Afghanistan and Iraq, and, frankly,” she said, “I’ve never been this uncomfortable.” That’s because she’s a “vanilla” — the swinger term for someone who observes without participating.
But make no mistake, Ling says she likes everyone she met and has done a helluva job recording it all without being in the least judgmental. Me? I would have been thrown out for laughing.
And damn, I’m still laughing. I mean, a chrome whoozit and a dress made of straps on a retired nurse? She probably would have done better at their sex party if she dressed up as a nurse. A naughty one of course.
The owner of the Kit Kat Guest Ranch in Lyon County said she is hiring four male prostitutes, the first time a Nevada brothel has tried offering men since the Shady Lady’s speed dates with two “prosti-dudes” ended in 2010.
Owner Sheila Caramella said she’s expecting the four men to start work on Monday at her Mound House bordello. The men were not available for interviews on Friday, though Caramella said they hail from Los Angeles and San Francisco and will work as independent contractors just like the women who work at the brothel.
That means the men will charge a minimum of $100 and negotiate prices for sexual services with customers, which could mean male or female clients based on the prostitute’s willingness. Like the female prostitutes, the men will also be tested for sexually transmitted diseases weekly.
“I’ll take anybody as long as they’re clean,” Caramella said in a phone interview Friday. “My girls are excited, my employees are excited. It’s a great thing for women. When girls want to call and do a bachelorette party, it’s fun. It’s going to be a great thing.”
Caramella said she’s been thinking about hiring male sex workers for three years and decided to finally try it out despite protests from others in Nevada’s legal brothel industry. She added she told law enforcement in Lyon County of her plans and said state law does not ban brothels from hiring male workers.
Indeed, Nevada’s first “prosti-dude,” who went by the stage name Markus, was hired by Nye County’s Shady Lady in 2010. The ex-Marine’s stint lasted two months amid international media attention and fewer than 10 clients. He was followed by another male worker in 2010 who went by the name “Y Not” and lasted about a month.
One of the brothel industry’s main representatives, lobbyist George Flint, was not sold on the idea during an interview Friday.
“She’s out of her mind,” he said by phone.
Flint said the male prostitution business has never caught on in Nevada and doubted Caramella’s ability to make it work in Mound House, too.“I told her two years ago it was the worst thing she could do, it could even open the door for Lyon County to take a look if they want legalized prostitution in their county,” he said, noting the Legislature is set to meet in just a matter of months and Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid suggested last year that Nevada reconsider its legal brothel industry.
“The truth of the matter is I think it’s a desperation move to get some publicity and get some regular business and even turn on some women who will come out and try it,” Flint said. “To me she’s walking into a beehive of potential backlash.”
He added, “We’ve got a theory in this business. We stay in business by keeping a low profile.”
Caramella said she expected there would be “haters,” but said she’s doing something legal that will satisfy a demand.
“It’s just that I’m doing what I want to do and it’s legal and I’m going to provide a service to women that has always been provided to men,” she said.
Lyon County Commissioner Ray Fierro said Friday he wasn’t aware of Caramella’s plan to hire male prostitutes, but said brothels just need to be in properly zoned areas and have the relevant background checks to be in business.
Four out of the five parcels zoned “x” in Lyon County currently have active brothels, including the Kit Kat Guest Ranch that was taken over by Caramella in 2001.
He said while Caramella isn’t violating any laws, her having male prostitutes “does surprise me,”
Fierro said.
“I told her two years ago it was the worst thing she could do, it could even open the door for Lyon County to take a look if they want legalized prostitution in their county,” he said, noting the Legislature is set to meet in just a matter of months and Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid suggested last year that Nevada reconsider its legal brothel industry.
“The truth of the matter is I think it’s a desperation move to get some publicity and get some regular business and even turn on some women who will come out and try it,” Flint said. “To me she’s walking into a beehive of potential backlash.”
He added, “We’ve got a theory in this business. We stay in business by keeping a low profile.”
Caramella said she expected there would be “haters,” but said she’s doing something legal that will satisfy a demand.
“It’s just that I’m doing what I want to do and it’s legal and I’m going to provide a service to women that has always been provided to men,” she said.
Lyon County Commissioner Ray Fierro said Friday he wasn’t aware of Caramella’s plan to hire male prostitutes, but said brothels just need to be in properly zoned areas and have the relevant background checks to be in business.
Four out of the five parcels zoned “x” in Lyon County currently have active brothels, including the Kit Kat Guest Ranch that was taken over by Caramella in 2001.
He said while Caramella isn’t violating any laws, her having male prostitutes “does surprise me,” Fierro said.
Published on Tuesday 7 August 2012 10:55
THE recent publication of details of the private life of a Kildare man, supposedly “outed” as a “swinger,” raised a number of questions about the public and private sphere, writes Henry Bauress.
Inevitably there are moral or legal questions but our views are likely to differ greatly on them.
Before those questions are asked, it would be useful to know what exactly “a swinger” is.
The term is associated with what is an early term for the phenomenon whereby couples meet other couples (usually) or singles, to exchange partners for sexual purposes, “wife swappers.”
According to arguably the best book on the subject of swinging, “The Lifestyle – A Look at the Erotic Rites of Swingers,” the origin of the term “swinging” is far from certain.
The book, first published in 1999, was written by Terry Gould, a Canadian investigative crime reporter, who took time out to write it following an article he was asked to write on swinging.
Gould’s book is not a salacious one for voyeurs but a serious look at non-monogamy which cast some light on a wide variety of areas of our personal lives.
Historically, he noted, a 1940’s study said that “extra marital liaison” was a socially approved custom in 39% of cultures studied.
The book starts with a look at the Lifestyle Organisation set up by a former airforce man, Robert McGinley, who was forced to leave his post, after US Air Force personnel, concerned he could be blackmailed, secretly opened his private letters and discovered he was in touch with a lady interested in swinging at the time he was going through a divorce.
Gould attended numerous conventions organised by the Lifestyle Organisation – and, incidentally, noted the economic boost to the hotel and tourism business.
The 1996 conference in San Diego hosted 3,500 people from 437 cities in seven countries.
Gould suggests that one of their international conferences was held in Dublin, remarking about “the stuffiness of Dublin.”
In 1998, the Jamaican Tourism Board sponsored a convention.
Gould and others say that those involved in the Lifestyle tend to be the better educated and surveys showed 40% of them described themselves as Catholic, Protestant or Jewish.
The term Lifestyle was adopted in the 1980’s to move away from the word “swinging” which had negative connotations for people who felt they had the right and were doing nothing harmful.
He quotes one person he interviewed: “We don’t threaten morality. We threaten immorality.”
For the most part, Lifestylers said that their hobby improved their marriage and was based on trust, and avoided “cheating” of those preaching strict monogamy.
Needless to say, the strong division of opinion on the morality of this, the biggest fear of Lifestylers was being outed in their own community and Gould outlines McGinley’s battle with the authorities over freedoms seen by many US citizens as fundamental.
Gould found that Lifestylers typically pointed out that outside of their large circle – it is estimated there are three million in the USA and Canada, judging partly by the clubs registered and monitored by the Lifestyles Organisation - jealousy and anger are much more associated with the monogamous world.
The book also notes that a Lifestyles party is not just about sex and that around 10% of those attending did not take part in sexual activity but were there to enjoy the atmosphere.
Those not able to respect personal boundaries would not be welcome.
Three types of sexual activity were roughly identified.
One was soft (massage and touch but not full intercourse), open (where spouses exchange for sex in an open area) and closed (where, swapping couples each retire to a private room.)
It is estimated that about 25% of Lifestylers are either more promiscuous or like group sex more.
To claims that marriages will be damage, Lifestylers told Gould that their activity will not make an essentially bad marriage good and people do separate.
The use of illegal drugs was also said to be a non runner.
Gould also found that while men tended to initiate their sometimes reluctant wives into the Lifestyle, women got to like it more.
Women adjusted better than men after the initial stages.
In the face of criticism that males wanted it first to enable them to have extra marital sex, Gould quotes the famous Kinsey said most husbands who encouraged their wives to join up did so for their wife’s sake.
The book takes quite a detailed look at previous culture and history of spouse exchange and current history, including Darwin’s theory of evolution as it applies to sexual practice and the “smoking gun” debate over the “natural” inclination of females to infidelity.
He also touches on the phenomenon known as polyamory, which is different to the Lifestyle in that more than two people form a household or marry.
He also refers to well known books among lifestylers or polyamorous, such as Heinlein’s Stranger in a Strange Land or Rimmer’s The Harrod Experiment and the 19th century Oneida spouse sharing community.
As time has moved on, he argued, main stream media, much criticized by Lifestylers, have been warming to the idea as groups like McGinley’s and polyamorous groups like Loving More, have achieved increasing mainstream publicity.
Pressurised less by the norms of society, they tend now to cater more for the curiosity of their clientèle. He quoted the Montreal Gazette as commenting that the State “has no business intervening in the orgies of the nation.”
He also quoted McGinley thus: “The Lifestyle has nothing to do with overthrowing society – although that’s not a bad idea.”
Gould found that the benefit of the Lifestyle for those who were inclined towards it was positive feeling about oneself, one’s mate and relationships.
Against that, it is felt that those more prone to jealously, players of social games, those with a poor opinion of the opposite sex, those deeply religions and those with relationship problems may not be suitable.
Some argued that what was described as “faithful adultery” may not suit young couples under thirty who have just fallen in love as these could be incapable of combining it with the benefit of traditional fidelity.
While Gould did not mention it specifically, an earlier US report on swinging from 1978, Gilmartin Report, suggested that those born under the Leo, Gemini, Saggitarius, Acquarius and Aries signs were over represented among surveyed swingers, while those born under the Cancer, Pisces, Capricorn, Scorpio and Virgo
http://www.angelfire.com/al2/1stlevela/
NiteLife Productions
CA
United States
winelovr